Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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