So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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