I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
