I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
