Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize