Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
