why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
