Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
