just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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