its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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