some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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