There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want nice things and good sex
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
