dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
