He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
