Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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