we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
