I hate all girls vehemently.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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