Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
