We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
