Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
