Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
