dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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