Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
