ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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