Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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