Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
