someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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