So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
