you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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