we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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