There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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