just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
