The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize