Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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