I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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