I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
