oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
