I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
