someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
