what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
