i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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