What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
