i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize