U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
