hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
