Your tits are I can't wait for
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
