my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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