Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
