I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
