The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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