do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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