so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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