But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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