if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
