I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
