You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
