im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
