RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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