it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
