It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
