Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize