Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
